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<title>Is Blood Thicker than Water? by Marijke_Rose</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26775415">Is Blood Thicker than Water?</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marijke_Rose/pseuds/Marijke_Rose'>Marijke_Rose</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Whumptober 2020 [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Invader Zim</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Day 2, M/M, Water, Whumptober 2020, no.2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 11:36:53</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>609</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26775415</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marijke_Rose/pseuds/Marijke_Rose</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Whumptober Day 2: Water (alt prompt)</p><p>This time, something light-hearted. A couple pervy jokes and a lot of Zim being Zim.</p><p>When I started it, I had absolutely no idea where I was going with it (or if it would even be Zim).</p><p>(I'm bad at summaries!)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Dib/Zim (Invader Zim), ZaDr - Relationship</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Whumptober 2020 [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1948705</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Whumptober 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Is Blood Thicker than Water?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Only a few were aware the alien liquid covering most of the planet Earth wasn't, in its pure form, harmful to Irken skin.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The little science drone had eagerly come to the little ‘blue’ planet, as he was told its natives called it, in the hopes of making a potent biological weapon out of it. He acquired a small treasury of samples from various sources around the planet. He’d taken them back to his base - much like those invaders use but with a much more elaborate science and research section than was needed by invaders. Then he had filtered it. Reduced it down to its purest liquid form.</span>
</p><p> </p><p><span>Then he tested it. First with skin cells from his own arm. Then with blood. Upon receiving the unexpected non-reaction, he decided that maybe it only worked on living cells. So, he tried it with his own hand. It felt cool and light against his bare skin, but it didn't hurt let alone </span><em><span>burn.</span></em><span> It didn't feel like much of anything, really. It could have been liquid cleanzor were it not for the </span><em><span>abhorred</span></em> <em><span>stink</span></em><span> it gave off.</span></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Smelly like everything else on this wretched planet,” he spat to the base’s computer. “But no reaction. No pain - where is the pain?!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Clearly the </span>
  <em>
    <span>water</span>
  </em>
  <span> was useless. Fortunately, he had kept samples of the impurities, of which there were many, and introduced his blood and skin cells to them to see how each reacted. Some had no reaction at all - those were impurities of natural origin - while others had the reaction he was looking for. Those little germs were of unnatural origin. Human-made by the pig-smellies infesting this dirtball like a plague.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Did you see that, Computer? I HAVE MY EVIL WEAPON!” he exclaimed. “Well, the basis for it anyway. But that is VICTORY FOR MEE!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Hey! Will you stop shouting, you spacebooger! I can't hear the TV!”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The science drone’s antennae sprung up. “Eh??”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I said: SHUT UP, YOU LITTLE SPACEBOOGER!”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That can only be the Dib!” hissed the affronted Irken as he turned to the elevator shaft. “You dare to tell ZIIIIM to shut up?!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A moment later, the young human, a man at only 2.8 years of age now according to Earth traditions, stepped out of the aforementioned shaft.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It was YOU!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, it was ME! Now what are you screaming about?” The young man pushed his ocular aids higher on his nose as he stalked over to what the fuss was about.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They glared at each other. A staring contest. One of many they had engaged in.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Now, tell me what amazing thing your genius ‘brainmeats’ have discovered now,” Dib said in a sickeningly sweet voice; and his tactic  worked, for Zim promptly lost the challenge in favour of, well…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zim grinned proudly and turned to his computer screen to show his wonderfully </span>
  <em>
    <span>HORRID</span>
  </em>
  <span> discovery. He began outlining the whole procedure - not failing to remind the human how amazing Zim was every couple sentences - while going through each step all over again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And so, I have concluded--”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“--that pink Irken blood is thicker than water, I see,” Dib finished for him, watching how Zim’s droplets of blood didn't disperse in the liquid like human blood did.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes! - Huh?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Good job, Spaceboy, you are truly amazing,” Dib chided.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes. Yes, I so am,” Zim happily agreed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“C’mon.” Dib headed back to the shaft. “Let’s go Irkflix and Chill to celebrate.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Huh? Isn't that how hyoomans initiate-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“There’ll be caaa-aaake,” Dib said in a singsong tone before disappearing. “And maybe even a cream pie if you hurry!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Cake?” Zim repeated, then gave a start. “WAIT!! SAVE SOME FOR ZIIIIIIM!”</span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>The Irken blood vs. Water thing is kinda AU. I just thought it sounded like a neat idea.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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